P has been home for just over a week and though things are not perfect, we are now a family of four. Reintegration is difficult, then when you throw in 2 kids that he's never met who call him Daddy, well....it's a challenge. We've had some wonderful days like yesterday, though; days that remind me that we can totally do this. Today is proving to be another good day as well; the kids are playing quietly, the dogs are being lazy, I am cleaning and P is relaxing by playing his new PS3 :)
One thing that P and I have decided to share cooking duties. With us both working and now hitting the YMCA after work everyday, we need fast, healthy meals. P has said that he will grill most nights (especially on the weekends) and I will make the side dishes. For example, today he will grill the steaks and hot dogs while I make the sweet potato fries and steamed veggies. I am also going to attempt to make some different side dishes, such as quinoa salad and ethnic dishes. We'll see out that turns out...
I cannot adequately put into words how it feels to have him home with us. It is amazing but wow, reintegration is a bitch. He is used to things being a certain way and I am used to things being my way. P was only here for 4 months before he deployed, so in a sense he came home to my home. I had things the way that I wanted them and he didn't necessarily agree with some of it. He's done some cleaning (actually, a lot of cleaning) and organizing which almost sent me over the edge because I am so Monica (as in Monica from Friends) about things. I've gotten over that now and I realize that I have to give and compromise more. Plus, having a husband who now cleans the house without me asking is nice :)
I promise to write more about this whole reintegration process, partly for me and also because I think that it is not talked about enough. For now, I have to go wrangle an 18 month old boy and get some more coffee.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, July 4, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
An update of sorts
Chloe is done with all of her laser therapy and adequan injections. We still owe $2500 on her surgery...so please tell people to visit our etsy store http://www.etsy.com/shop/rebwim76 and buy some tasty treats for their favorite doggie :)
The rem.eron is working well and the side effect of the out of control appetite is finally gone. Gained a total of 2 lbs from it (and illness, more on that later) so I will be working hard to lose a total of 7 lbs before P gets home.
Speaking of P, we are down to the last few weeks of this deployment and some days it seems like time has stopped. ALso, I am gonna be smoking hot at the homecoming ceremony and at the ball later in the summer.
We decided to do FET with our 1 remaining embaby rather than doing deeper into debt with IVF. Praying and hoping that we get a BFP and then a baby :)
The babes are doing well but wow, they take up almost all of my free time. No one really tells you that when you are TTC or in the adoption process. I love them but sometimes I feel like I might drop my basket.
My husband is already making plans to get out of his current unit, so we might PCS somewhere before the end of the year. The thought of PCS'ing with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 toddlers makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.
I'm exhausted. Must try to sleep soon.
The rem.eron is working well and the side effect of the out of control appetite is finally gone. Gained a total of 2 lbs from it (and illness, more on that later) so I will be working hard to lose a total of 7 lbs before P gets home.
Speaking of P, we are down to the last few weeks of this deployment and some days it seems like time has stopped. ALso, I am gonna be smoking hot at the homecoming ceremony and at the ball later in the summer.
We decided to do FET with our 1 remaining embaby rather than doing deeper into debt with IVF. Praying and hoping that we get a BFP and then a baby :)
The babes are doing well but wow, they take up almost all of my free time. No one really tells you that when you are TTC or in the adoption process. I love them but sometimes I feel like I might drop my basket.
My husband is already making plans to get out of his current unit, so we might PCS somewhere before the end of the year. The thought of PCS'ing with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 toddlers makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.
I'm exhausted. Must try to sleep soon.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
"It's time for you to take care of you"....
I am sick for like the millionth time. It seems I have stayed sick since the kids came in December. This time it is a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection...last month it was enterocolitis that landed me in the ER. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. I try to exercise when my body allows it. The doctors all agree that the weeks of untreated insomnia wrecked my immune system and now I can fight off all the nasty germs that the kids pick up at daycare. It will apparently get better, eventually.
Also, the doctor today strongly recommended that I get a thorough physical once I'm feeling better. I will definitely do that because I want to discuss the possibility that I am showing symptoms of/developing fibromyalgia (Nave, you should be proud of me, lol). No, I'm not a hypochondriac. My mother has fibro and started showing symptoms in her 30s and I have been showing what could be several symptoms. Better to find out early so that I can start managing it better.
Many friends of mine, both IRL and the ones who live in my computer, have told me "you need to take care of you." I love all of you and I get it, but I really don't know how or when to do that any more. I work FT (necessity); have 2 babes (17 mos and 35 mos); take care of the zoo (4 dogs, 2 cats & 2 fish); oh yeah, and my husband is deployed so I'm doing this all (temporarily) by myself. My family is across the country, as are many of my friends. I knew how to take care of me when I was childless, but now....it doesn't seem possible or easy.
I try to exercise (yes, I consider that ME taking care of ME) but being sick every fucking month has made that difficult. I read, when I can (that reminds me, I need to download Dexter Dreaming Darkly tonight) because I enjoy it. I need to get back into a regular yoga routine to help with stress....but again, where's the time? I already get up at 0515 so getting up earlier is NOT an option. Perhaps at night after my other (somewhat) regular workouts, which will put me going to bed later.
Today, one of my Twitter friends tweeted "now I know why celebrities check into hospitals for exhaustion." I totally get it too. The 7-8 hours I spent laid up in the ER last month were kind of awesome (maybe it was the morphine). I wasn't responsible for anyone or anything; in fact I had a staff of people waiting on ME. That my friends, was a very nice feeling....I could get used to that (and the morphine).
So I ask you, in all seriousness my friends, what do I do? How do I find the time to take care of me consistently without hiring a babysitter every freaking weekend? For real, I am willing to hear every legitimate suggestion. I WANT to take care of me again. I just feel defeated in that area and honestly, I want someone to take care of me....but he's thousands of miles away, dodging bullets right now.
Also, the doctor today strongly recommended that I get a thorough physical once I'm feeling better. I will definitely do that because I want to discuss the possibility that I am showing symptoms of/developing fibromyalgia (Nave, you should be proud of me, lol). No, I'm not a hypochondriac. My mother has fibro and started showing symptoms in her 30s and I have been showing what could be several symptoms. Better to find out early so that I can start managing it better.
Many friends of mine, both IRL and the ones who live in my computer, have told me "you need to take care of you." I love all of you and I get it, but I really don't know how or when to do that any more. I work FT (necessity); have 2 babes (17 mos and 35 mos); take care of the zoo (4 dogs, 2 cats & 2 fish); oh yeah, and my husband is deployed so I'm doing this all (temporarily) by myself. My family is across the country, as are many of my friends. I knew how to take care of me when I was childless, but now....it doesn't seem possible or easy.
I try to exercise (yes, I consider that ME taking care of ME) but being sick every fucking month has made that difficult. I read, when I can (that reminds me, I need to download Dexter Dreaming Darkly tonight) because I enjoy it. I need to get back into a regular yoga routine to help with stress....but again, where's the time? I already get up at 0515 so getting up earlier is NOT an option. Perhaps at night after my other (somewhat) regular workouts, which will put me going to bed later.
Today, one of my Twitter friends tweeted "now I know why celebrities check into hospitals for exhaustion." I totally get it too. The 7-8 hours I spent laid up in the ER last month were kind of awesome (maybe it was the morphine). I wasn't responsible for anyone or anything; in fact I had a staff of people waiting on ME. That my friends, was a very nice feeling....I could get used to that (and the morphine).
So I ask you, in all seriousness my friends, what do I do? How do I find the time to take care of me consistently without hiring a babysitter every freaking weekend? For real, I am willing to hear every legitimate suggestion. I WANT to take care of me again. I just feel defeated in that area and honestly, I want someone to take care of me....but he's thousands of miles away, dodging bullets right now.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Scariest day ever
This past Thursday is definitely a day that I will not forget. As many of you know, J had a seizure. I haven't really put down a detailed account of what happened so thought that I might as well blog about it.
I guess that I should start with earlier in the week-SB was sick on Sunday (spiked a fever of 103) so I kept her out of preschool on Monday. I figured that J would eventually come down with whatever SB had, so it was no huge surprise Wednesday evening that he didn't feel well. His afternoon teacher reported that he'd just not been himself that afternoon and I when I picked him up he'd just finished a nap and was very flushed. He ate and drank fine at supper but was a bit clingy afterwards. He was a little warm but nothing crazy. I let him fall asleep in my arms, then moved him to his crib.
Thursday morning I woke up and got ready for work as usual. I then went into the nursery to get the babes ready for preschool. J was still sound asleep, even after I turned on the light...that NEVER happens. I decided to let him sleep some more and get SB ready first. Per her usual routine, she started having a major temper tantrum. Again, he basically slept through it which never happens. After getting SB dressed, I went to his crib to changed him. (I'd already decided that he would stay home with me but I needed to change him so that we could take SB to preschool.) I got his diaper changed and noticed that he was shivering. I decided to get a warmer shirt to put on him and noticed that he was warm-again, not crazy hot or anything. I got one sleeve of the warmer shirt on him and he started convulsing. He went rigid and his arms jerked up, bending at the elbows. The first few seconds I was in shock, started yelling his name at him, trying to get him to really look at me. I smacked his back and then his chest. His lips turned blue. I though he was dying. I though "how will I tell his birth mom (SIL) and how will I tell P?" Somewhere in there I called 911.
The seizure seemed like it lasted forever but in reality I'm sure it lasted less than a minute. During the seizure I instinctively turned him on his side (thank you yearly trainings at past child welfare jobs). After the seizure was over he basically passed out. He was breathing quick shallow breaths. The 911 operator was amazing at keeping me calm. When the fire truck arrived, there were all 6 fire fighters in our not so big house. They were AWESOME. The female fire fighter is the one that held J and gave him oxygen. They calmed me as well and she assured me that the was he was acting was normal after a seizure. They checked his vitals, blood sugar levels and after the ambulance arrived and took over, they installed new smoke detectors in our home.
SB and I followed the ambulance to the hospital. She was definitely shaken up after everything but she did AMAZING while all of those "strangers" were taking care of her baby brother. She watched them intently but never got in their way or anything. She cried when I put her in the car without him being in there with her.
We got to the hospital and found his room. The nurses and staff at Memorial were AMAZING. Our poor boy was hooked up to tubes and all sorts of equipment. He cried when we walked in and reached out for me. My heart broke a little, seeing him all confused and upset. I was able to pick him and hold him and he nuzzled into my neck. He was so tired. A little bit later the nurses took blood from him (he HATED that) and a respiratory guy came suctioned out his sinuses. That did not look like fun at all. It involved a saline solution and a tube. At first the dr said that he would not do a CT scan, later he changed his mind. Our boy slept through the scan :)
After hours at the hospital, J was diagnosed with the flu and a possible sinus infection (the CT scan showed some sinus irritation). Dr said that he thinks that J had a febrile seizure due to the flu; however, he did not rule out it being caused by possible prenatal drug exposure. The paramedics also mentioned the same thing to me. The dr told me to keep a close eye on him and if it happens again, to call 911 again, get J to Memorial and he would do a spinal tap and refer us to a pediatric neurologist in Denver.
While at the hospital, I emailed P from my phone to let him know what was going on. Even though he's never met our babes, he is already being Daddy <3 He told me that if it happens again, he will request emergency leave and he told his command what was going on. He also requested that I give him frequent updates throughout the day. Love that man.
I've barely taken my eyes of J since we came home. He has slept with me every night because I am so scared that he will seizure again. I'm constantly feeling his head and body to see if he's getting warm. When he's sleeping, I check to see that he's breathing. I'm going to try to put him back in his crib tonight.; hopefully I'll be able to sleep. I haven't really slept soundly since it happened.
He is feeling almost 100% himself again. Currently he and SB are playing in their nursery (door open, gate up so that I can see and hear them) while I enjoy my third cup of coffee. Birds are singing, sun is shining and I have the doors and windows open. Here's to a great Sunday of enjoying my babes and life in general.
I guess that I should start with earlier in the week-SB was sick on Sunday (spiked a fever of 103) so I kept her out of preschool on Monday. I figured that J would eventually come down with whatever SB had, so it was no huge surprise Wednesday evening that he didn't feel well. His afternoon teacher reported that he'd just not been himself that afternoon and I when I picked him up he'd just finished a nap and was very flushed. He ate and drank fine at supper but was a bit clingy afterwards. He was a little warm but nothing crazy. I let him fall asleep in my arms, then moved him to his crib.
Thursday morning I woke up and got ready for work as usual. I then went into the nursery to get the babes ready for preschool. J was still sound asleep, even after I turned on the light...that NEVER happens. I decided to let him sleep some more and get SB ready first. Per her usual routine, she started having a major temper tantrum. Again, he basically slept through it which never happens. After getting SB dressed, I went to his crib to changed him. (I'd already decided that he would stay home with me but I needed to change him so that we could take SB to preschool.) I got his diaper changed and noticed that he was shivering. I decided to get a warmer shirt to put on him and noticed that he was warm-again, not crazy hot or anything. I got one sleeve of the warmer shirt on him and he started convulsing. He went rigid and his arms jerked up, bending at the elbows. The first few seconds I was in shock, started yelling his name at him, trying to get him to really look at me. I smacked his back and then his chest. His lips turned blue. I though he was dying. I though "how will I tell his birth mom (SIL) and how will I tell P?" Somewhere in there I called 911.
The seizure seemed like it lasted forever but in reality I'm sure it lasted less than a minute. During the seizure I instinctively turned him on his side (thank you yearly trainings at past child welfare jobs). After the seizure was over he basically passed out. He was breathing quick shallow breaths. The 911 operator was amazing at keeping me calm. When the fire truck arrived, there were all 6 fire fighters in our not so big house. They were AWESOME. The female fire fighter is the one that held J and gave him oxygen. They calmed me as well and she assured me that the was he was acting was normal after a seizure. They checked his vitals, blood sugar levels and after the ambulance arrived and took over, they installed new smoke detectors in our home.
SB and I followed the ambulance to the hospital. She was definitely shaken up after everything but she did AMAZING while all of those "strangers" were taking care of her baby brother. She watched them intently but never got in their way or anything. She cried when I put her in the car without him being in there with her.
We got to the hospital and found his room. The nurses and staff at Memorial were AMAZING. Our poor boy was hooked up to tubes and all sorts of equipment. He cried when we walked in and reached out for me. My heart broke a little, seeing him all confused and upset. I was able to pick him and hold him and he nuzzled into my neck. He was so tired. A little bit later the nurses took blood from him (he HATED that) and a respiratory guy came suctioned out his sinuses. That did not look like fun at all. It involved a saline solution and a tube. At first the dr said that he would not do a CT scan, later he changed his mind. Our boy slept through the scan :)
After hours at the hospital, J was diagnosed with the flu and a possible sinus infection (the CT scan showed some sinus irritation). Dr said that he thinks that J had a febrile seizure due to the flu; however, he did not rule out it being caused by possible prenatal drug exposure. The paramedics also mentioned the same thing to me. The dr told me to keep a close eye on him and if it happens again, to call 911 again, get J to Memorial and he would do a spinal tap and refer us to a pediatric neurologist in Denver.
While at the hospital, I emailed P from my phone to let him know what was going on. Even though he's never met our babes, he is already being Daddy <3 He told me that if it happens again, he will request emergency leave and he told his command what was going on. He also requested that I give him frequent updates throughout the day. Love that man.
I've barely taken my eyes of J since we came home. He has slept with me every night because I am so scared that he will seizure again. I'm constantly feeling his head and body to see if he's getting warm. When he's sleeping, I check to see that he's breathing. I'm going to try to put him back in his crib tonight.; hopefully I'll be able to sleep. I haven't really slept soundly since it happened.
He is feeling almost 100% himself again. Currently he and SB are playing in their nursery (door open, gate up so that I can see and hear them) while I enjoy my third cup of coffee. Birds are singing, sun is shining and I have the doors and windows open. Here's to a great Sunday of enjoying my babes and life in general.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Want to feel like myself again
Just over 2 weeks since the BFN from the failed IVF cycle (wow, it seems like so much longer than that) and I still feel like I'm on hormones. Sore ovaries, headaches, bloat (though that is going down) and little to no energy. I tried to start P90X but I think it was too soon. I'll start it after AF comes again. Until then I will do yoga every day since I can pretty much always handle a moderate yoga workout.
On a happy note, the kids are doing GREAT! We went to BWW for dinner last night and they loved it! This weekend is finally a weekend of sun and moderate temps so after we eat a late breakfast, mail some care packages to P and get SB's hair cut, we will go somewhere and enjoy the weather...I'm thinking Garden of the Gods. Since the kids have gotten here, the weather has been so cold and they have been sick on and off so I haven't gotten to show them much of the city. We will definitely change that today. I cannot wait!!!
Ok, so off I go to get ready for the day. I am determined to get back to my old self!
On a happy note, the kids are doing GREAT! We went to BWW for dinner last night and they loved it! This weekend is finally a weekend of sun and moderate temps so after we eat a late breakfast, mail some care packages to P and get SB's hair cut, we will go somewhere and enjoy the weather...I'm thinking Garden of the Gods. Since the kids have gotten here, the weather has been so cold and they have been sick on and off so I haven't gotten to show them much of the city. We will definitely change that today. I cannot wait!!!
Ok, so off I go to get ready for the day. I am determined to get back to my old self!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Exhausted-warning, whining ahead
I am exhausted. Lately both babes are fighting any sort of sleep. I finally got J to sleep (after much crying) only to have SB launch a toy from her crib into his and then start her exorcist screaming. Currently she is in timeout while I type this. And yes, I am most definitely drinking wine.
I am out numbered.
I am tired.
I am sick of deployment.
I am sicking of fucking ovarian cysts that are so painful they wake me up
I am tired of negative temperatures, snow and ice (well, these wouldn't be so bad if my damn 4WD vehicle was in operating condition).
I am damn fucking sick of infertility.
Also, it looks like another one of our dogs has hip dysplasia :-( That makes 2 dogs with hip/joint problems, 1 with doggy dementia and 1 with adjustment issues (not including the fact that 3 out of 4 have skin allergies and both males have separation issues).
Tomorrow I will put my big girl panties back on but right now I will pour another glass of wine and have a pity party.
I am out numbered.
I am tired.
I am sick of deployment.
I am sicking of fucking ovarian cysts that are so painful they wake me up
I am tired of negative temperatures, snow and ice (well, these wouldn't be so bad if my damn 4WD vehicle was in operating condition).
I am damn fucking sick of infertility.
Also, it looks like another one of our dogs has hip dysplasia :-( That makes 2 dogs with hip/joint problems, 1 with doggy dementia and 1 with adjustment issues (not including the fact that 3 out of 4 have skin allergies and both males have separation issues).
Tomorrow I will put my big girl panties back on but right now I will pour another glass of wine and have a pity party.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Mommy Monday
Today the babes and I met our permanent caseworker and I like her a lot! We'll call her M :) M is a parent herself and she was so easy to talk with. The babes interacted with her very well and were on their cutest behavior :) She'll be coming out here once a month to make sure that the babes are okay, I'm okay and to check to see if we need any support services.
I filled her in on their last doctor's appointment, the speech therapy referral and my relationship with their birth mom (my SIL). I also talked with her about how well they have adjusted, especially our niece SB. We talked about SB not being in play therapy and how I have not seen a need for it.
All in all the visit was about 40 minutes and was completely stress free. We have set an appointment for next month and I actually look forward to seeing her. I almost forgot-she also mentioned that in April, SIL's caseworker will looking at starting the process of terminating SIL's parental rights.....that's only 2 months from now. As much as I know that she most likely will never be able to parent due to her paranoid schizophrenia, my heart hurts for her.
So, to my adoptive parents/foster parents/guardians/potential adoptive parents-how do you handle caseworker visits? Do they stress you out? Do you get along with your caseworker? What do the kids think?
I filled her in on their last doctor's appointment, the speech therapy referral and my relationship with their birth mom (my SIL). I also talked with her about how well they have adjusted, especially our niece SB. We talked about SB not being in play therapy and how I have not seen a need for it.
All in all the visit was about 40 minutes and was completely stress free. We have set an appointment for next month and I actually look forward to seeing her. I almost forgot-she also mentioned that in April, SIL's caseworker will looking at starting the process of terminating SIL's parental rights.....that's only 2 months from now. As much as I know that she most likely will never be able to parent due to her paranoid schizophrenia, my heart hurts for her.
So, to my adoptive parents/foster parents/guardians/potential adoptive parents-how do you handle caseworker visits? Do they stress you out? Do you get along with your caseworker? What do the kids think?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Mommy Mondays (a new idea for this blog)
I want to start Mommy Mondays on this blog, in an effort to blog regularly again and in an effort to reconnect with my blogging friends :)
Having recently become a Mommy via guardianship of the sis in law's kids, I have a full appreciation of how difficult parenting is...especially when doing it alone (P won't be back until the summer). I love the children and the bonding is going MUCH better but wow, there are definite challenges. On Mommy Mondays I want to focus on all things relating to parenting. I am thinking that I willobsess write about one parenting "thing" (sorry, I am too exhausted to think of a better word) per week on here. If there's ever anything that you want to see me write about or that you just think would be a good topic, please comment on any post and let me know :)
I want to share a bit about the bonding/attaching that we've been working on here in our home. As y'all might remember things were rough here in the beginning. I am happy to report that things are MUCH better around here, I think due in a major way to my no longer being on the evil lu.pron. We have a night time routine now-15 to 30 minutes of cartoons while I make dinner; eat dinner; take baths; read a story and then bed time. That routine works 90% of the time, though sometimes SB (2.5 yr old niece) still has a meltdown when she gets in the bed. J (1 yr old nephew) rarely cries at bed time any more, unless he decides that he wants to stay up and play with the furbabies :)
SB is also seeking me out for hugs and sitting on my lap during Friday Night Family Movie and Pizza night. Her newest thing is to blow kisses to me or just come up to me for kisses <3 She also runs to me when I pick her up from preschool saying "Mommy hug"....yeah, she's a charmer :) J's face lights up when I come into his classroom and he immediately wants me to pick him up. He has also started having baby nightmares which is awful but he *does* calm down when I comfort him.
For the past couple of weekends, we haven't really done anything fun because I have had IVF appointments, which for me are 2.5 hrs of driving round trip. This coming weekend I have decided that we will go shoe shopping for all 3 of us, walk around the mall a bit and then go see my friend, S, at BWW on her lunch shift :) We are also going to go to church which is sure to be an adventure ;)
So what to you do to promote bonding/attachment in your children?
Having recently become a Mommy via guardianship of the sis in law's kids, I have a full appreciation of how difficult parenting is...especially when doing it alone (P won't be back until the summer). I love the children and the bonding is going MUCH better but wow, there are definite challenges. On Mommy Mondays I want to focus on all things relating to parenting. I am thinking that I will
I want to share a bit about the bonding/attaching that we've been working on here in our home. As y'all might remember things were rough here in the beginning. I am happy to report that things are MUCH better around here, I think due in a major way to my no longer being on the evil lu.pron. We have a night time routine now-15 to 30 minutes of cartoons while I make dinner; eat dinner; take baths; read a story and then bed time. That routine works 90% of the time, though sometimes SB (2.5 yr old niece) still has a meltdown when she gets in the bed. J (1 yr old nephew) rarely cries at bed time any more, unless he decides that he wants to stay up and play with the furbabies :)
SB is also seeking me out for hugs and sitting on my lap during Friday Night Family Movie and Pizza night. Her newest thing is to blow kisses to me or just come up to me for kisses <3 She also runs to me when I pick her up from preschool saying "Mommy hug"....yeah, she's a charmer :) J's face lights up when I come into his classroom and he immediately wants me to pick him up. He has also started having baby nightmares which is awful but he *does* calm down when I comfort him.
For the past couple of weekends, we haven't really done anything fun because I have had IVF appointments, which for me are 2.5 hrs of driving round trip. This coming weekend I have decided that we will go shoe shopping for all 3 of us, walk around the mall a bit and then go see my friend, S, at BWW on her lunch shift :) We are also going to go to church which is sure to be an adventure ;)
So what to you do to promote bonding/attachment in your children?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
