He is home :)

P has been home for just over a week and though things are not perfect, we are now a family of four. Reintegration is difficult, then when you throw in 2 kids that he's never met who call him Daddy, well....it's a challenge. We've had some wonderful days like yesterday, though; days that remind me that we can totally do this. Today is proving to be another good day as well; the kids are playing quietly, the dogs are being lazy, I am cleaning and P is relaxing by playing his new PS3 :)

One thing that P and I have decided to share cooking duties. With us both working and now hitting the YMCA after work everyday, we need fast, healthy meals. P has said that he will grill most nights (especially on the weekends) and I will make the side dishes. For example, today he will grill the steaks and hot dogs while I make the sweet potato fries and steamed veggies. I am also going to attempt to make some different side dishes, such as quinoa salad and ethnic dishes. We'll see out that turns out...

I cannot adequately put into words how it feels to have him home with us. It is amazing but wow, reintegration is a bitch. He is used to things being a certain way and I am used to things being my way. P was only here for 4 months before he deployed, so in a sense he came home to my home. I had things the way that I wanted them and he didn't necessarily agree with some of it. He's done some cleaning (actually, a lot of cleaning) and organizing which almost sent me over the edge because I am so Monica (as in Monica from Friends) about things. I've gotten over that now and I realize that I have to give and compromise more. Plus, having a husband who now cleans the house without me asking is nice :)

I promise to write more about this whole reintegration process, partly for me and also because I think that it is not talked about enough. For now, I have to go wrangle an 18 month old boy and get some more coffee.

Day 2 of Inferno

Total calories:1210
Breakfast-100 cal English muffin
70 cal organic egg
70 cal cheese slice
35 cal coffee with creamer
Snack- 35 cal coffee with creamer
140 banana with peanut butter
Lunch- 4 slices of ham, 1 slice of cheese, 1 tsp light honey Dijon dressing on a small flour
tortilla with 1 serving of baked potato chips (I wrote down this breakdown of calories
but left it at work
Dinner- 300 cal frozen meal (spaghetti with meat sauce)
Snack- 60 cal of animal crackers
20 cal of whipped cream

Exercise-55 Fire EZ (Turbo Fire)

Today I noticed that I was hungrier, probably because I was working and was on the go for the entire 8.5 hours that I was there. I kept reminded myself that it's going to be worth it in the end and I made sure to eat my meals and snacks slowly. Even though it's only been 2 days, I feel like I am starting to see a difference in my mid section, which is the part that needs some toning. I am seriously excited to see the results in the mirror late this week.

An update of sorts

Chloe is done with all of her laser therapy and adequan injections. We still owe $2500 on her surgery...so please tell people to visit our etsy store http://www.etsy.com/shop/rebwim76 and buy some tasty treats for their favorite doggie :)

The rem.eron is working well and the side effect of the out of control appetite is finally gone. Gained a total of 2 lbs from it (and illness, more on that later) so I will be working hard to lose a total of 7 lbs before P gets home.

Speaking of P, we are down to the last few weeks of this deployment and some days it seems like time has stopped. ALso, I am gonna be smoking hot at the homecoming ceremony and at the ball later in the summer.

We decided to do FET with our 1 remaining embaby rather than doing deeper into debt with IVF. Praying and hoping that we get a BFP and then a baby :)

The babes are doing well but wow, they take up almost all of my free time. No one really tells you that when you are TTC or in the adoption process. I love them but sometimes I feel like I might drop my basket.

My husband is already making plans to get out of his current unit, so we might PCS somewhere before the end of the year. The thought of PCS'ing with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 toddlers makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.

I'm exhausted. Must try to sleep soon.

Day by Day.....

I haven't gone a day without crying.

I haven't gone a day without praying that it wasn't true.

Some days I am hopeful and hopeless at different times on the same days.

Everyday I am terrified that FET will not work.

Everyday I thank God for my family, friends and especially my amazing husband who makes me feel supported all the way from Afghanistan.

I have a plan because, well....plans make me feel better and more in control. I have become a BeachBody coach and plan to work through P90X (for a second time, love it!) and then Insanity so that I can get in shape and lose the IUI/IVF weight that I've gained over the past 2 years. I really want to make my BeachBody business work so that we can become debt free and so that we can save up money for future infertility treatments. My goal this week is to get through all the BB training so that I can really get started in this. For me, it's not just about making money; it's also about helping people improve their lives and get healthy. Here are my sites (so far) http://beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/liberalgranola (My BeachBody page) and http://myshakeology.com/esuite/home/liberalgranola (my Shakeology page). I drink the chocolate Shakeology everyday and I freaking love it! Look for more posts on here about me getting in shape and helping others :)

My health/fitness goal is to lose 2 dress sizes, which will get me back to where I was before starting injectable infertility medications. It is a totally do-able goal for me. Also I'll be smokin' hot for P when he returns from deployment :)

I realize that there is no way that I can do FET without P here. Doing this fresh IVF cycle without him here, while being solely responsible for the kiddos was way too stressful. I have my WTF appt with the RE next month and I plan to talk to him about FET in detail, including letting him know my reasons for waiting. This failed IVF cycle has just been so emotionally and physically draining....I now know that I need P here with me for support.

I could not have gotten through this without the amazing support from my friends online. Seriously, y'all are a lifeline to me. Yo have people who understand, support me and don't judge me is so wonderful. I love y'all.

In 48 hours.....

I will be PUPO! I am so excited and scared. I wish that P was here for all of this. Depending on other people (besides him) makes me nervous and generally uncomfortable.

Our 6 embabies are doing fine as of yesterday <3 They are all average to high quality and I won't get another update on them until the morning of the transfer. I am praying that all is well and that we get a healthy baby from this IVF cycle.

Ugh, and now I'm crying again. Damn hormones!

MilSpouse Friday Fill In

Thanks again to the creator of this Wife of a Sailor :)

1. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?
Probably my college graduation trip to Colorado from Alabama. I had a BLAST and completely fell in love with Colorado during the week that I spent in Estes Park.

2. Do you collect anything? Tell us a bit about it.
I collect shot glasses from places that I've been as well as places that my friends/family visit. My Daddy built a collection case for me and I will soon be asking to build another one.

3. What is your favorite part about being an adult?)
Being married! Seriously, I love being married to my best friend and sharing a life with him.

4. What song brings a tear to your eye?
Glitter by P!nk, Bubbly by Colbie Caillat (we danced to that at our wedding) and More Time by Needtobreathe

5. Describe your first plane ride (how old you were, where you were heading, etc).
Hmmmm, I am really not sure. I remember flying to TX and NV to visit grandparents when I was 16 years old but I am not sure if that was my first plane ride or not. Nonetheless, I enjoy flying and actually flew to Japan on my own to see my brother while he lived there.

Now it's your turn My MilSpouse friends :)