He is home :)

P has been home for just over a week and though things are not perfect, we are now a family of four. Reintegration is difficult, then when you throw in 2 kids that he's never met who call him Daddy, well....it's a challenge. We've had some wonderful days like yesterday, though; days that remind me that we can totally do this. Today is proving to be another good day as well; the kids are playing quietly, the dogs are being lazy, I am cleaning and P is relaxing by playing his new PS3 :)

One thing that P and I have decided to share cooking duties. With us both working and now hitting the YMCA after work everyday, we need fast, healthy meals. P has said that he will grill most nights (especially on the weekends) and I will make the side dishes. For example, today he will grill the steaks and hot dogs while I make the sweet potato fries and steamed veggies. I am also going to attempt to make some different side dishes, such as quinoa salad and ethnic dishes. We'll see out that turns out...

I cannot adequately put into words how it feels to have him home with us. It is amazing but wow, reintegration is a bitch. He is used to things being a certain way and I am used to things being my way. P was only here for 4 months before he deployed, so in a sense he came home to my home. I had things the way that I wanted them and he didn't necessarily agree with some of it. He's done some cleaning (actually, a lot of cleaning) and organizing which almost sent me over the edge because I am so Monica (as in Monica from Friends) about things. I've gotten over that now and I realize that I have to give and compromise more. Plus, having a husband who now cleans the house without me asking is nice :)

I promise to write more about this whole reintegration process, partly for me and also because I think that it is not talked about enough. For now, I have to go wrangle an 18 month old boy and get some more coffee.

An update of sorts

Chloe is done with all of her laser therapy and adequan injections. We still owe $2500 on her surgery...so please tell people to visit our etsy store http://www.etsy.com/shop/rebwim76 and buy some tasty treats for their favorite doggie :)

The rem.eron is working well and the side effect of the out of control appetite is finally gone. Gained a total of 2 lbs from it (and illness, more on that later) so I will be working hard to lose a total of 7 lbs before P gets home.

Speaking of P, we are down to the last few weeks of this deployment and some days it seems like time has stopped. ALso, I am gonna be smoking hot at the homecoming ceremony and at the ball later in the summer.

We decided to do FET with our 1 remaining embaby rather than doing deeper into debt with IVF. Praying and hoping that we get a BFP and then a baby :)

The babes are doing well but wow, they take up almost all of my free time. No one really tells you that when you are TTC or in the adoption process. I love them but sometimes I feel like I might drop my basket.

My husband is already making plans to get out of his current unit, so we might PCS somewhere before the end of the year. The thought of PCS'ing with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 toddlers makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.

I'm exhausted. Must try to sleep soon.

"It's time for you to take care of you"....

I am sick for like the millionth time. It seems I have stayed sick since the kids came in December. This time it is a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection...last month it was enterocolitis that landed me in the ER. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. I try to exercise when my body allows it. The doctors all agree that the weeks of untreated insomnia wrecked my immune system and now I can fight off all the nasty germs that the kids pick up at daycare. It will apparently get better, eventually.

Also, the doctor today strongly recommended that I get a thorough physical once I'm feeling better. I will definitely do that because I want to discuss the possibility that I am showing symptoms of/developing fibromyalgia (Nave, you should be proud of me, lol). No, I'm not a hypochondriac. My mother has fibro and started showing symptoms in her 30s and I have been showing what could be several symptoms. Better to find out early so that I can start managing it better.

Many friends of mine, both IRL and the ones who live in my computer, have told me "you need to take care of you." I love all of you and I get it, but I really don't know how or when to do that any more. I work FT (necessity); have 2 babes (17 mos and 35 mos); take care of the zoo (4 dogs, 2 cats & 2 fish); oh yeah, and my husband is deployed so I'm doing this all (temporarily) by myself. My family is across the country, as are many of my friends. I knew how to take care of me when I was childless, but now....it doesn't seem possible or easy.

I try to exercise (yes, I consider that ME taking care of ME) but being sick every fucking month has made that difficult. I read, when I can (that reminds me, I need to download Dexter Dreaming Darkly tonight) because I enjoy it. I need to get back into a regular yoga routine to help with stress....but again, where's the time? I already get up at 0515 so getting up earlier is NOT an option. Perhaps at night after my other (somewhat) regular workouts, which will put me going to bed later.

Today, one of my Twitter friends tweeted "now I know why celebrities check into hospitals for exhaustion." I totally get it too. The 7-8 hours I spent laid up in the ER last month were kind of awesome (maybe it was the morphine). I wasn't responsible for anyone or anything; in fact I had a staff of people waiting on ME. That my friends, was a very nice feeling....I could get used to that (and the morphine).

So I ask you, in all seriousness my friends, what do I do? How do I find the time to take care of me consistently without hiring a babysitter every freaking weekend? For real, I am willing to hear every legitimate suggestion. I WANT to take care of me again. I just feel defeated in that area and honestly, I want someone to take care of me....but he's thousands of miles away, dodging bullets right now.

Mommy Mondays (a new idea for this blog)

I want to start Mommy Mondays on this blog, in an effort to blog regularly again and in an effort to reconnect with my blogging friends :)

Having recently become a Mommy via guardianship of the sis in law's kids, I have a full appreciation of how difficult parenting is...especially when doing it alone (P won't be back until the summer). I love the children and the bonding is going MUCH better but wow, there are definite challenges. On Mommy Mondays I want to focus on all things relating to parenting. I am thinking that I will obsess write about one parenting "thing" (sorry, I am too exhausted to think of a better word) per week on here. If there's ever anything that you want to see me write about or that you just think would be a good topic, please comment on any post and let me know :)

I want to share a bit about the bonding/attaching that we've been working on here in our home. As y'all might remember things were rough here in the beginning. I am happy to report that things are MUCH better around here, I think due in a major way to my no longer being on the evil lu.pron. We have a night time routine now-15 to 30 minutes of cartoons while I make dinner; eat dinner; take baths; read a story and then bed time. That routine works 90% of the time, though sometimes SB (2.5 yr old niece) still has a meltdown when she gets in the bed. J (1 yr old nephew) rarely cries at bed time any more, unless he decides that he wants to stay up and play with the furbabies :)

SB is also seeking me out for hugs and sitting on my lap during Friday Night Family Movie and Pizza night. Her newest thing is to blow kisses to me or just come up to me for kisses <3 She also runs to me when I pick her up from preschool saying "Mommy hug"....yeah, she's a charmer :) J's face lights up when I come into his classroom and he immediately wants me to pick him up. He has also started having baby nightmares which is awful but he *does* calm down when I comfort him.

For the past couple of weekends, we haven't really done anything fun because I have had IVF appointments, which for me are 2.5 hrs of driving round trip. This coming weekend I have decided that we will go shoe shopping for all 3 of us, walk around the mall a bit and then go see my friend, S, at BWW on her lunch shift :) We are also going to go to church which is sure to be an adventure ;)

So what to you do to promote bonding/attachment in your children?