I am sick for like the millionth time. It seems I have stayed sick since the kids came in December. This time it is a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection...last month it was enterocolitis that landed me in the ER. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. I try to exercise when my body allows it. The doctors all agree that the weeks of untreated insomnia wrecked my immune system and now I can fight off all the nasty germs that the kids pick up at daycare. It will apparently get better, eventually.
Also, the doctor today strongly recommended that I get a thorough physical once I'm feeling better. I will definitely do that because I want to discuss the possibility that I am showing symptoms of/developing fibromyalgia (Nave, you should be proud of me, lol). No, I'm not a hypochondriac. My mother has fibro and started showing symptoms in her 30s and I have been showing what could be several symptoms. Better to find out early so that I can start managing it better.
Many friends of mine, both IRL and the ones who live in my computer, have told me "you need to take care of you." I love all of you and I get it, but I really don't know how or when to do that any more. I work FT (necessity); have 2 babes (17 mos and 35 mos); take care of the zoo (4 dogs, 2 cats & 2 fish); oh yeah, and my husband is deployed so I'm doing this all (temporarily) by myself. My family is across the country, as are many of my friends. I knew how to take care of me when I was childless, but now....it doesn't seem possible or easy.
I try to exercise (yes, I consider that ME taking care of ME) but being sick every fucking month has made that difficult. I read, when I can (that reminds me, I need to download Dexter Dreaming Darkly tonight) because I enjoy it. I need to get back into a regular yoga routine to help with stress....but again, where's the time? I already get up at 0515 so getting up earlier is NOT an option. Perhaps at night after my other (somewhat) regular workouts, which will put me going to bed later.
Today, one of my Twitter friends tweeted "now I know why celebrities check into hospitals for exhaustion." I totally get it too. The 7-8 hours I spent laid up in the ER last month were kind of awesome (maybe it was the morphine). I wasn't responsible for anyone or anything; in fact I had a staff of people waiting on ME. That my friends, was a very nice feeling....I could get used to that (and the morphine).
So I ask you, in all seriousness my friends, what do I do? How do I find the time to take care of me consistently without hiring a babysitter every freaking weekend? For real, I am willing to hear every legitimate suggestion. I WANT to take care of me again. I just feel defeated in that area and honestly, I want someone to take care of me....but he's thousands of miles away, dodging bullets right now.
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It is a temporary aloneness. You can find time to take care of you! And by that I mean sleeping taking lots of vitamin c and loving on those beautiful kiddos!
ReplyDeleteIt will get better! Every momma feels like this at some point. As the weather gets nice, try to get outside, get fresh air. The kids will pick up less germy nasties now that summer is approaching. Hopefully your insomnia stays away and sleep will help build up your immune system. You are very strong! I could never do what you are doing by myself!
ReplyDeleteI feel so awful that you're dealing with being sick all the time!
ReplyDeleteI wish it would all just go away for you. With the insomnia, have you tried taking a prescription medicine?
Hoping you feel better soon!
Nikke, I am currently taking 30mg of Remeron along with a low dose of Ambien to get to sleep. THe dr is trying to 1) re-train my brain to sleep and 2) cut down on my feeling of general anxiety during the day. Now if this damn cough would go away!
ReplyDeleteThanks, y'all <3 I am already planning some outdoor stuff to do with the kids, including an outdoor festival over Mem Day weekend. Tomorrow I am making myself get back into my yoga practice. My plan is 15 min every night before bed to relax me. Who knows, I might even start doing a quick 5 min practice in the mornings :)