Monday, May 30, 2011

No wine for you!

That's what I'm telling myself right now. Well really it's "NO ALCOHOL FOR YOU" until I break 140 pounds for at least 2 days. I stepped on the scale this afternoon and it read 143.6 lbs. I am not amused. Also, I'm losing in my belly like I'd like so bye-bye candy at work (not mine but at the front desk) and bye-bye bad carbs. I've been looking through the nutrition guide that came with Turbo Fire and I have decided to start trying some of those recipes and guidelines.

For starters, no more coffee. I used to drink it black which was fine but now that I like adding creamer to it, it's got empty calories. Instead I'll be drinking green tea with a touch of Truvia in it. Breakfast will be something healthier than a bagel thin with cream cheese. I am making baked oatmeal tonight so that I can eat it throughout the week for breakfast. Lunches will now be salads (full of fresh veggies and with nuts for protein) or a wrap with fresh veggies on the side. Dinner will be free of simple carbs and instead I will eat a small sweet potato or sweet potato fries if I *must* have a carb. Hmmmm, maybe I'll do wraps with raw veggies for my lunches and salads for dinners....scratch that. I'd get way to bored with that meal plan.

Also, no alcohol. I heart wine and love to have a glass or 2 at night. Well, no more! Those are tons of empty calories so they have to least until I break 140 lbs, then wine can come back in moderation.

I want to reach 135 lbs by the time P gets home from deployment. That is my wedding weight, aka pre-infertility treatment weight. I have x amount of weeks to do this (very few). I know that I can do it. just have to get my ass in gear!

Monday, May 23, 2011

An update of sorts

Chloe is done with all of her laser therapy and adequan injections. We still owe $2500 on her please tell people to visit our etsy store and buy some tasty treats for their favorite doggie :)

The rem.eron is working well and the side effect of the out of control appetite is finally gone. Gained a total of 2 lbs from it (and illness, more on that later) so I will be working hard to lose a total of 7 lbs before P gets home.

Speaking of P, we are down to the last few weeks of this deployment and some days it seems like time has stopped. ALso, I am gonna be smoking hot at the homecoming ceremony and at the ball later in the summer.

We decided to do FET with our 1 remaining embaby rather than doing deeper into debt with IVF. Praying and hoping that we get a BFP and then a baby :)

The babes are doing well but wow, they take up almost all of my free time. No one really tells you that when you are TTC or in the adoption process. I love them but sometimes I feel like I might drop my basket.

My husband is already making plans to get out of his current unit, so we might PCS somewhere before the end of the year. The thought of PCS'ing with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 toddlers makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.

I'm exhausted. Must try to sleep soon.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"It's time for you to take care of you"....

I am sick for like the millionth time. It seems I have stayed sick since the kids came in December. This time it is a sinus infection and upper respiratory infection...last month it was enterocolitis that landed me in the ER. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. I try to exercise when my body allows it. The doctors all agree that the weeks of untreated insomnia wrecked my immune system and now I can fight off all the nasty germs that the kids pick up at daycare. It will apparently get better, eventually.

Also, the doctor today strongly recommended that I get a thorough physical once I'm feeling better. I will definitely do that because I want to discuss the possibility that I am showing symptoms of/developing fibromyalgia (Nave, you should be proud of me, lol). No, I'm not a hypochondriac. My mother has fibro and started showing symptoms in her 30s and I have been showing what could be several symptoms. Better to find out early so that I can start managing it better.

Many friends of mine, both IRL and the ones who live in my computer, have told me "you need to take care of you." I love all of you and I get it, but I really don't know how or when to do that any more. I work FT (necessity); have 2 babes (17 mos and 35 mos); take care of the zoo (4 dogs, 2 cats & 2 fish); oh yeah, and my husband is deployed so I'm doing this all (temporarily) by myself. My family is across the country, as are many of my friends. I knew how to take care of me when I was childless, but doesn't seem possible or easy.

I try to exercise (yes, I consider that ME taking care of ME) but being sick every fucking month has made that difficult. I read, when I can (that reminds me, I need to download Dexter Dreaming Darkly tonight) because I enjoy it. I need to get back into a regular yoga routine to help with stress....but again, where's the time? I already get up at 0515 so getting up earlier is NOT an option. Perhaps at night after my other (somewhat) regular workouts, which will put me going to bed later.

Today, one of my Twitter friends tweeted "now I know why celebrities check into hospitals for exhaustion." I totally get it too. The 7-8 hours I spent laid up in the ER last month were kind of awesome (maybe it was the morphine). I wasn't responsible for anyone or anything; in fact I had a staff of people waiting on ME. That my friends, was a very nice feeling....I could get used to that (and the morphine).

So I ask you, in all seriousness my friends, what do I do? How do I find the time to take care of me consistently without hiring a babysitter every freaking weekend? For real, I am willing to hear every legitimate suggestion. I WANT to take care of me again. I just feel defeated in that area and honestly, I want someone to take care of me....but he's thousands of miles away, dodging bullets right now.