Friday, October 29, 2010

What happened to....

basic manners and treating others as you'd like to be treated? I mean, I know that I am a tree hugging, animal loving, recycling pacifist but seriously, some people in cyperspace make my skin crawl with their lack of basic human decency.

There have been nasty comments on friends' blogs and bullying via Twitter. I've had "friends" talk about me on FB and Twitter (thinking I wouldn't catch on) and it hurt my feelings. Granted, the ones on Twitter I am better off without but why talk about me? Why not just stop following me? And no, I am NOT perfect and there are times I vent about people but I make a concerted to not gossip about people or make fun of people.

For example, I am part of a message board of military wives. On this board we have rules about what and how much can be in our signature. Well a relatively new member had a signature that was messing up people below like-like after she replied to a post, all of the replies after her were way small or set to the left. Rather than, I don't know, let one of the moderators know about it, an older member decided to call the member out and basically yell at her to fix her signature. Why? What purpose did that serve other than to embarrass that new member? When I saw the post calling out the new member, I was embarrassed for her. She is a nice, quiet girl who doesn't demand attention. I could NOT believe that an older, seasoned member would do that to her.

At times it discourages me when I see the cyber bullying and nasty comments....and then I go back to my Twitterverse. My little bubble where my friends are supportive and build each other up. Where we cry together, laugh together, send virtual hugs and have virtual wine parties.

And even in real life, I am shocked sometimes by the basic lack of general kindness to people. What happened to please and thank you? What happened to the Golden Rule?


  1. I agree whole-heartedly... people have lost all courtesy and manners. It's so sad to me :(

  2. It's so sad how common decency has totally "left the building" I hate seeing so many wonderful lovely people in my "bubble" getting attacked. =(

  3. i agree that many people go online and are way too aggressive, and some can be just plain mean. just a week or so ago a woman whose baby died was being attacked on her blog and via twitter because she had the child circumcised. i just didn't get it, how does one allow one's personal beliefs, whatever they may be, to take precedence over THE LIFE OF A CHILD. and what kind of people feel so strongly about themselves and their opinions to reason that even reaching out with anything but words of love or sympathy would be appropriate in that situation? then again it started this week, with a friend. thankfully it wasn't as harsh, obviously the scenarios were different as the second woman's child lived, but i was still amazed. i have read blogs of people who said things or held beliefs that i didn't agree with, and you know what i did? i clicked off their page. maybe it's because i didn't come in already angry and ready to blast anyone unlike me.
    it scares me that there are people like that in our world. a world that i, like you, do everything i can to make a better place. i know im probably naive or immature or something, but i am still amazed when i see blatant disregard for others. maybe its because i have always worked for others, teaching preschoolers how to be kind and cooperative individuals, helping the disabled. i may just be too close to the good to even be able to see the bad most of the time, but when i do, i feel so scared for where our world is, and where we are going.
    great post and a topic definitely worth talking about!

  4. Ugh, some people. It's like the anonymity of the internet gives them explicit permission to act like total and complete jerk wads. I'm sorry you have to deal with this crud.

  5. I love this post. I'm so in agreement too. One of the reasons my blogging has become sporadic lately is due to negative commenting & feedback... Which is just so unnecessary. Thank you for writing this. We all need to be more like tree hugging,animal loving, recycling pacifists. Love you!

  6. Ugh. I hate that stuff....internet bullying is just as hurtful as IRL. :(

  7. I guess people are bullies online or off.
    I recently listened to a very good talk on dealing with them. You can go to this guy's site here:
    He was saying that rather than getting riled up and defensive, remain calm and not offended - treat them like a friend, then the power of recipriocity will make them less likely to bully you again. That after all is the golden rule in action.
    It is hard though. When someone pisses you off it is more easy to get angry. Better to give it time and calm down. I made a mistake this week when my play therapy kid's mom cancelled for the second time in a row in phoning immediately when I was still mad. I think she could tell, although I tried to be polite. Next thing I know she has completely cancelled the play therapy for good. Oh well I stuffed up again... :)
    Hey and thanks Becca for your comment on my blog, I guess you would be an expert going through similar stuff!

  8. Amen sister! Well said. And the people who take the time to virtually berate someone need a life. If there is nothing more they can do in their day or they "need" that to feel better about themselves then they just need to live inside their own sad little bubble. Life is too short for drama! But hey if they are talking about you at least you are on their mind!!!! ;)

  9. I used to love that board until some started to comment really bad about Mexican people, I was really sad to leave but, there always will be people that abuse freedom of speech, I love to read you :)


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