Confession time......

Last week I went to the "coordination of care" meetings at the IVF clinic. I met with the financial person, embryologist and my nurse. I was quite informative and answered lots of my questions but y'all.....I AM FREAKING OUT NOW. Not like all the time but when I stop and think about it doing it without P being here (thank you deployment), that's when it really gets me.

I'm not scared of giving myself injections-I injected myself 99% of the time when we did IUIs-but I'm anxious about not having the in person support of him. I have great friends here IRL and in cyberspace, but nothing can replace the feeling of having my best friend, my soulmate home and emotionally supporting me. Having him hold me at night while I cry out my worry of never getting pregnant, no one else can do that.

And that brings me to something else....what if it doesn't work? My team of people at the IVF clinic are confident but we all know that it not working is a definite possibility. Gah, I can't think about that right now....I will lose it if I do. I haven't been to therapy in forever...I really need to call her.

I put on a good front most of the time because with P being gone, I have been able to NOT focus on getting pregnant. Now that's all gonna change....and I might be a crazy hormonal person again *sigh*

Of course, if we get naturally pregnant over R&R (and I stay pregnant) then I'll be the happiest woman EVER!

What happened to....

basic manners and treating others as you'd like to be treated? I mean, I know that I am a tree hugging, animal loving, recycling pacifist but seriously, some people in cyperspace make my skin crawl with their lack of basic human decency.

There have been nasty comments on friends' blogs and bullying via Twitter. I've had "friends" talk about me on FB and Twitter (thinking I wouldn't catch on) and it hurt my feelings. Granted, the ones on Twitter I am better off without but why talk about me? Why not just stop following me? And no, I am NOT perfect and there are times I vent about people but I make a concerted to not gossip about people or make fun of people.

For example, I am part of a message board of military wives. On this board we have rules about what and how much can be in our signature. Well a relatively new member had a signature that was messing up people below like-like after she replied to a post, all of the replies after her were way small or set to the left. Rather than, I don't know, let one of the moderators know about it, an older member decided to call the member out and basically yell at her to fix her signature. Why? What purpose did that serve other than to embarrass that new member? When I saw the post calling out the new member, I was embarrassed for her. She is a nice, quiet girl who doesn't demand attention. I could NOT believe that an older, seasoned member would do that to her.

At times it discourages me when I see the cyber bullying and nasty comments....and then I go back to my Twitterverse. My little bubble where my friends are supportive and build each other up. Where we cry together, laugh together, send virtual hugs and have virtual wine parties.

And even in real life, I am shocked sometimes by the basic lack of general kindness to people. What happened to please and thank you? What happened to the Golden Rule?

Meatless Monday

With P being gone (read this blog for that story for the next year), I've been slacking on cooking and eating real food. I am trying to get better about that so I will actually be cooking *gasp* supper tonight.

Tonight's Meatless Monday supper will be cocktail shrimp, hushpuppies (the cooking part), steamed veggies and maybe a few fries. I haven't made hushpuppies in MONTHS but I am craving them today.

So, yeah....there is my simple boring Meatless Monday :-p Maybe next week I'll have an interesting tasty recipe. But for the record, I heart shrimp and hushpuppies-it reminds me of our time back in Savannah, GA :)

My newest blogging venture

If you have dogs or love dogs, please check out my newest venture! I am doing it with a friend and if you are interested in blogging with us, please let me know :)

Protect Your Dog From Things

So check out the site, comment and psread the word!

MilSpouse Friday Fill In

Thanks again to the creator of this Wife of a Sailor :)

1. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?
Probably my college graduation trip to Colorado from Alabama. I had a BLAST and completely fell in love with Colorado during the week that I spent in Estes Park.

2. Do you collect anything? Tell us a bit about it.
I collect shot glasses from places that I've been as well as places that my friends/family visit. My Daddy built a collection case for me and I will soon be asking to build another one.

3. What is your favorite part about being an adult?)
Being married! Seriously, I love being married to my best friend and sharing a life with him.

4. What song brings a tear to your eye?
Glitter by P!nk, Bubbly by Colbie Caillat (we danced to that at our wedding) and More Time by Needtobreathe

5. Describe your first plane ride (how old you were, where you were heading, etc).
Hmmmm, I am really not sure. I remember flying to TX and NV to visit grandparents when I was 16 years old but I am not sure if that was my first plane ride or not. Nonetheless, I enjoy flying and actually flew to Japan on my own to see my brother while he lived there.

Now it's your turn My MilSpouse friends :)